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Judah's Gone

by M. Lockwood Porter

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1.
Judah's Gone 04:29
Thirty acres of virgin land You bought and cleared it with your own two hands You built a fire, you paved a lane The trees were young, the pond was full of rain You built your castle and you were king For one brief moment, you had everything Then another came and stole your crown So you wrapped a chain around your trailer hitch and tore it down When I was sixteen, you crossed the sea You packed your things and said goodbye to me I skipped school and joined a band Nothing seems to turn out as you planned Judah’s gone Judah’s gone Judah’s gone, gone, gone Now I’ve seen the desert sands and felt the mountain air And I have smelled saltwater in her hair And I’ve hugged the white line high and free But still this emptiness is killing me Judah’s gone Judah’s gone Judah’s gone, gone, gone We went back on Christmas Day The grass was brown, the sky was gray The horses tore the fences down Shotgun shells and trash were scattered on the ground Judah’s gone Judah’s gone Judah’s gone, gone, gone
2.
I don’t know the reason why, but I’ve been practicing saying goodbye To everyone I’ve ever met since I was young Now my time has come I told myself that when I got older, I’d get the hell out of Oklahoma As soon as I turned eighteen, I swore I’d run And now my time has come Hold on to your feelings Hold on to your feelings, though the seasons change Open up your shutter and let in the light; you can’t count on the day to stay so bright One of these days you’ll forget everything I’ve done And now my time has come Hold on to your feelings Hold on to your feelings, though the seasons change I’ve been having a dream here lately, where I’m on a bright ribbon of highway Sailing off into the setting sun And now my time has come I don’t know the reason why, but I’ve been practicing saying goodbye To everyone I’ve ever met since I was young Now my time has come
3.
Of all the girls that I have met, I think you are my favorite yet. I’m picking scabs of my regret just like you are. I’m not jealous and I’m not weak- At least not in the past few weeks I’m not everything that you seek. Oh Lord, I’m not. But darling, can’t you see There’s something wrong with me? I’ve got this crazy notion To build a bridge across the ocean So that I could walk back home. Do you think dying is so forlorn? I came out crying when I was born. I’ve not shoes with soles as worn as you do now. If you’re waiting for the world to end, You might as well wait with a friend. It’s kind of nice just to pretend that we’re in love. But darling, can’t you see There’s something wrong with me? I’ve got this funny feeling That I could float up to the ceiling, But I’ve got so much weighing me down.
4.
Stephen 04:24
Stephen was a rock and roll drummer; he played in all the bands When he played, his hands – they moved like lightning Our practice space was his dad’s garage, that was where we learned to play We all thought someday he would be the best damn drummer in the USA Stephen, where are you now? I can almost hear your cymbals crashing through the ground When I was in college, I heard he turned to speed and he was playing in a metal band He went up on the stand every night He wanted to play that rock and roll, and so he played the part And it took his heart but it never took his soul Stephen, where are you now? I can almost hear your cymbals crashing through the ground Stephen you always kept the beat locked in so tight But then you lost the fight Late one night when I was home from school on a holiday I had some drinks with Stephen in my backyard He talked about what it was like, stuck in town with his family Oh Stephen, who could blame you for wanting to escape? Stephen, where are you now? I can almost hear your cymbals crashing through the ground I can’t turn on the radio ‘cause I can’t stand the sound Now the beat only reminds me of a heart that’ll never pound again
5.
Menelaus 03:52
I’d never seen a woman quite like you With hair of golden brown and eyes so sad and blue From the moment I first kissed you, I knew you’d leave me dry But it never really hit me until the walls fell. You told me once you’d never met an honest man I wasn’t lying when I told you, “I’ll try the best I can.” But you still picked up and sailed away with the first guy that came around Well I chased you like a dog, and then the walls fell. Was it revenge or was it love that sent me ‘round the globe? I held my knife above you, and then you opened up your robe Some folks have called it tragic. Well, I just wanted what I couldn’t have And held on to hope too long, and then the walls fell. Now I’ve got to make my lonely way back home I fought for ten long years; I got scars and broken bones Even as I stood there watching Troy burn to the ground I knew that you weren’t coming home the day the walls fell. Sir, I can’t blame you for what you done I know the way that she can make you feel, and I hope you’ve had some fun But I’m warning you, it’s hard to hold on to someone that’s never had a home She didn’t even flinch when the walls fell.
6.
There is a party tonight at the lake Call all the pretty girls that you know Loving is so easy to make Down at the lake Pick out a dry piece of wood that’ll burn Strike a match and watch it ignite We’ll drink to remember and drink to forget Down at the lake One of these days this old lake will go dry Like everything else that I’ve ever known Yours is the only heart you can break Down at the lake
7.
Tonight 02:14
The party down the block, so loud it cuts Through the night like a switchblade knife, spilling out my guts. The girls are looking so pretty. The girls are looking so good. I wish that I could go there, but I never could Tonight. On Thursday night, I got her number from a friend of a friend of mine. On Friday night, I called her up, and said, “We should have a good time.” Saturday morning - no missed calls. Saturday evening - staring at the walls Tonight. Sometimes I get so lonely, I know that it ain’t right, But I wonder who would notice if I died tonight. Every single person I know around here does nothing but bring me down. I’ve gotta get out of this room, I’ve gotta get out of this town Tonight.
8.
Darkside 03:29
I know you want me And I think that I want you But I’m afraid that I can’t see this through This game that we’ve been playing Has got to end right now Because I’m scared of all the things that I might do I’ve got a dark side I’ve got a dark side I’ve learned how to hide it, but I’ve got a dark side I go out to the party I go out to the bars And all the pretty women catch my eye My feelings are strong But a lifetime is long And there’s a lot I want to do before I die I’ve got a dark side I’ve got a dark side I’ve learned how to hide it, but I’ve got a dark side I’ve been drunk dialing you, doll But I don’t love you, I just don’t know who else to call
9.
Higher Home 03:35
Carried my cross from dusk til dawn I’ve burned every bridge that I’ve walked upon One day I’m gonna find my higher home I’ve had money, I’ve been destitute Got drunk with the banker and the prostitute One day I’m gonna find my higher home I left home as soon as I got the chance I tried to live my life like an old romance But one day I’m gonna find my higher home Now I’ve lived in the east and I’ve lived in the west And I’ve left all the girls that loved me best One day I’m gonna find my higher home As a boy, I dreamt of growing up to ride No one could change my mind, but mama tried But one day I’m gonna find my higher home I wanted a life with no regrets But living this way, that’s all you get One day I’m gonna find my higher home
10.
Osage County 05:25
I grew up in Osage County, near the Tulsa County line, Out west of town near the reservoir, among the newly planted pines. I left home when I was younger. I went to satisfy a hunger in my mind. All I found was a city, cold and lonely. Now I’ve left my friends and family behind. Ooh, Osage County, Never thought you’d haunt me so. Ooh, Osage County, I know I couldn’t stay, but it still hurts so much to have to go. My father was a ladykiller. He’d go out chasing women on the road. Mom would dream about a good life. She’d lay around the house and she’d get stoned. Ooh, Osage County, Never thought you’d haunt me so. Ooh, Osage County, I know I couldn’t stay, but it still hurts so much to have to go. My whole future was decided When I woke up to “Like A Rolling Stone”. I’m not sure if I’ve found freedom, But I know what it means to be alone. Ooh, Osage County, Never thought you’d haunt me so. Ooh, Osage County, I know I couldn’t stay, but it still hurts so much to have to go.
11.
Retraction 01:50
I would like to make a retraction. I wrote lots of songs with the word "love", But they were just a reaction To a feeling that I had only heard of That I wanted to feel, but I couldn't find the way So I thought it wasn't real and I locked myself away. The word, to me, became Loaded with fear and disdain. I'd use it all the time To describe my loneliness or make a rhyme. Now I'm ashamed by this lesson that I have learned As far as the meaning of that word's concerned - That you'll find no peace, though you leave no stone unturned 'Til you learn to love and know your love's returned.

credits

released July 11, 2013

All songs by M. Lockwood Porter
Recorded in various house, basements, and garages in Oakland and Berkeley, CA.
Produced by M. Lockwood Porter.

M. Lockwood Porter: vocals, guitars, bass, keys, harmonica
Peter Labberton: drums, bass
Bevan Herbekian: bass, vocals
Josh Yenne: pedal steel

Engineered by Peter Labberton
Mixed by Caleb MacIlvaine and Peter Labberton
Mastered by TW Walsh

Cover photo by Kris Payne
Layout by Joseph Casey

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M. Lockwood Porter Chico, California

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