Judah's Gone

by M. Lockwood Porter

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02:14
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03:29
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03:35
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05:25
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credits

released July 11, 2013

All songs by M. Lockwood Porter
Recorded in various house, basements, and garages in Oakland and Berkeley, CA.
Produced by M. Lockwood Porter.

M. Lockwood Porter: vocals, guitars, bass, keys, harmonica
Peter Labberton: drums, bass
Bevan Herbekian: bass, vocals
Josh Yenne: pedal steel

Engineered by Peter Labberton
Mixed by Caleb MacIlvaine and Peter Labberton
Mastered by TW Walsh

Cover photo by Kris Payne
Layout by Joseph Casey

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M. Lockwood Porter Chico, California

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Track Name: Judah's Gone
Thirty acres of virgin land
You bought and cleared it with your own two hands
You built a fire, you paved a lane
The trees were young, the pond was full of rain

You built your castle and you were king
For one brief moment, you had everything
Then another came and stole your crown
So you wrapped a chain around your trailer hitch and tore it down

When I was sixteen, you crossed the sea
You packed your things and said goodbye to me
I skipped school and joined a band
Nothing seems to turn out as you planned

Judah’s gone
Judah’s gone
Judah’s gone, gone, gone

Now I’ve seen the desert sands and felt the mountain air
And I have smelled saltwater in her hair
And I’ve hugged the white line high and free
But still this emptiness is killing me

Judah’s gone
Judah’s gone
Judah’s gone, gone, gone

We went back on Christmas Day
The grass was brown, the sky was gray
The horses tore the fences down
Shotgun shells and trash were scattered on the ground

Judah’s gone
Judah’s gone
Judah’s gone, gone, gone
Track Name: Now My Time Has Come
I don’t know the reason why, but I’ve been practicing saying goodbye
To everyone I’ve ever met since I was young
Now my time has come

I told myself that when I got older, I’d get the hell out of Oklahoma
As soon as I turned eighteen, I swore I’d run
And now my time has come
Hold on to your feelings
Hold on to your feelings, though the seasons change

Open up your shutter and let in the light; you can’t count on the day to stay so bright
One of these days you’ll forget everything I’ve done
And now my time has come

Hold on to your feelings
Hold on to your feelings, though the seasons change

I’ve been having a dream here lately, where I’m on a bright ribbon of highway
Sailing off into the setting sun
And now my time has come

I don’t know the reason why, but I’ve been practicing saying goodbye
To everyone I’ve ever met since I was young
Now my time has come
Track Name: There's Something Wrong With Me
Of all the girls that I have met,
I think you are my favorite yet.
I’m picking scabs of my regret just like you are.
I’m not jealous and I’m not weak-
At least not in the past few weeks
I’m not everything that you seek. Oh Lord, I’m not.

But darling, can’t you see
There’s something wrong with me?

I’ve got this crazy notion
To build a bridge across the ocean
So that I could walk back home.

Do you think dying is so forlorn?
I came out crying when I was born.
I’ve not shoes with soles as worn as you do now.
If you’re waiting for the world to end,
You might as well wait with a friend.
It’s kind of nice just to pretend that we’re in love.

But darling, can’t you see
There’s something wrong with me?

I’ve got this funny feeling
That I could float up to the ceiling,
But I’ve got so much weighing me down.
Track Name: Stephen
Stephen was a rock and roll drummer; he played in all the bands
When he played, his hands – they moved like lightning
Our practice space was his dad’s garage, that was where we learned to play
We all thought someday he would be the best damn drummer in the USA

Stephen, where are you now?
I can almost hear your cymbals crashing through the ground

When I was in college, I heard he turned to speed and he was playing in a metal band
He went up on the stand every night
He wanted to play that rock and roll, and so he played the part
And it took his heart but it never took his soul

Stephen, where are you now?
I can almost hear your cymbals crashing through the ground

Stephen you always kept the beat locked in so tight
But then you lost the fight

Late one night when I was home from school on a holiday
I had some drinks with Stephen in my backyard
He talked about what it was like, stuck in town with his family
Oh Stephen, who could blame you for wanting to escape?

Stephen, where are you now?
I can almost hear your cymbals crashing through the ground
I can’t turn on the radio ‘cause I can’t stand the sound
Now the beat only reminds me of a heart that’ll never pound again
Track Name: Menelaus
I’d never seen a woman quite like you
With hair of golden brown and eyes so sad and blue
From the moment I first kissed you, I knew you’d leave me dry
But it never really hit me until the walls fell.

You told me once you’d never met an honest man
I wasn’t lying when I told you, “I’ll try the best I can.”
But you still picked up and sailed away with the first guy that came around
Well I chased you like a dog, and then the walls fell.

Was it revenge or was it love that sent me ‘round the globe?
I held my knife above you, and then you opened up your robe
Some folks have called it tragic. Well, I just wanted what I couldn’t have
And held on to hope too long, and then the walls fell.

Now I’ve got to make my lonely way back home
I fought for ten long years; I got scars and broken bones
Even as I stood there watching Troy burn to the ground
I knew that you weren’t coming home the day the walls fell.

Sir, I can’t blame you for what you done
I know the way that she can make you feel, and I hope you’ve had some fun
But I’m warning you, it’s hard to hold on to someone that’s never had a home
She didn’t even flinch when the walls fell.
Track Name: Down At The Lake
There is a party tonight at the lake
Call all the pretty girls that you know
Loving is so easy to make
Down at the lake

Pick out a dry piece of wood that’ll burn
Strike a match and watch it ignite
We’ll drink to remember and drink to forget
Down at the lake

One of these days this old lake will go dry
Like everything else that I’ve ever known
Yours is the only heart you can break
Down at the lake
Track Name: Tonight
The party down the block, so loud it cuts
Through the night like a switchblade knife, spilling out my guts.
The girls are looking so pretty. The girls are looking so good.
I wish that I could go there, but I never could
Tonight.

On Thursday night, I got her number from a friend of a friend of mine.
On Friday night, I called her up, and said, “We should have a good time.”
Saturday morning - no missed calls.
Saturday evening - staring at the walls
Tonight.

Sometimes I get so lonely, I know that it ain’t right,
But I wonder who would notice if I died tonight.
Every single person I know around here does nothing but bring me down.
I’ve gotta get out of this room, I’ve gotta get out of this town
Tonight.
Track Name: Darkside
I know you want me
And I think that I want you
But I’m afraid that I can’t see this through
This game that we’ve been playing
Has got to end right now
Because I’m scared of all the things that I might do

I’ve got a dark side
I’ve got a dark side
I’ve learned how to hide it, but I’ve got a dark side

I go out to the party
I go out to the bars
And all the pretty women catch my eye
My feelings are strong
But a lifetime is long
And there’s a lot I want to do before I die

I’ve got a dark side
I’ve got a dark side
I’ve learned how to hide it, but I’ve got a dark side

I’ve been drunk dialing you, doll
But I don’t love you, I just don’t know who else to call
Track Name: Higher Home
Carried my cross from dusk til dawn
I’ve burned every bridge that I’ve walked upon
One day I’m gonna find my higher home
I’ve had money, I’ve been destitute
Got drunk with the banker and the prostitute
One day I’m gonna find my higher home

I left home as soon as I got the chance
I tried to live my life like an old romance
But one day I’m gonna find my higher home
Now I’ve lived in the east and I’ve lived in the west
And I’ve left all the girls that loved me best
One day I’m gonna find my higher home

As a boy, I dreamt of growing up to ride
No one could change my mind, but mama tried
But one day I’m gonna find my higher home
I wanted a life with no regrets
But living this way, that’s all you get
One day I’m gonna find my higher home
Track Name: Osage County
I grew up in Osage County,
near the Tulsa County line,
Out west of town near the reservoir,
among the newly planted pines.
I left home when I was younger.
I went to satisfy a hunger in my mind.
All I found was a city, cold and lonely.
Now I’ve left my friends and family behind.

Ooh, Osage County,
Never thought you’d haunt me so.
Ooh, Osage County,
I know I couldn’t stay, but it still hurts so much to have to go.

My father was a ladykiller.
He’d go out chasing women on the road.
Mom would dream about a good life.
She’d lay around the house and she’d get stoned.

Ooh, Osage County,
Never thought you’d haunt me so.
Ooh, Osage County,
I know I couldn’t stay, but it still hurts so much to have to go.

My whole future was decided
When I woke up to “Like A Rolling Stone”.
I’m not sure if I’ve found freedom,
But I know what it means to be alone.

Ooh, Osage County,
Never thought you’d haunt me so.
Ooh, Osage County,
I know I couldn’t stay, but it still hurts so much to have to go.
Track Name: Retraction
I would like to make a retraction.
I wrote lots of songs with the word "love",
But they were just a reaction
To a feeling that I had only heard of

That I wanted to feel, but I couldn't find the way
So I thought it wasn't real and I locked myself away.

The word, to me, became
Loaded with fear and disdain.
I'd use it all the time
To describe my loneliness or make a rhyme.

Now I'm ashamed by this lesson that I have learned
As far as the meaning of that word's concerned -
That you'll find no peace, though you leave no stone unturned
'Til you learn to love and know your love's returned.

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