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Communion In The Ashes

by M. Lockwood Porter

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credits

released March 29, 2019

Guitar, Vocals, Written by, Produced by – M. Lockwood Porter
Design and Layout By – Joseph Casey
Original Artwork – William Schaff
Bass Guitar – Bevan Herbekian
Drums, Percussion, Engineered by, Mixed by – Peter Labberton
Guitar, Vocals – Jeremy Lyon
Vocals – Tracey Holland
Keyboards – Jeff Hashfield
Mastered By – JJ Golden
Recorded At Origami Recording Lounge, Chico, CA

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Track Name: Communion In The Ashes
This city that I live in is pounding like a drum.
It sounds like electricity with the faintest human hum.
These gates and walls divide us. We have no common hymns.
Sometimes the dread’s so heavy, it feels like a phantom limb.

When the bridges are all been burned
And they’re warring over matches,
Let’s hold a new communion in the ashes.

When the fire came, we could smell it coming.
The flames were moving fast and everybody started running.
Some folks didn’t make it. Some lost all they had.
But I’m glad I didn’t lose you even though it got so bad.

When the bridges are all burned
And they’re warring over matches,
Let’s hold a new communion in the ashes.

There used to be a blueprint for dignity and hope,
But the threads have all unraveled at the end of this old rope.
So Goodbye San Mateo. And Goodbye Golden Gate.
I hear that they were beautiful, but we were born too late.
If you’re feeling lost and lonely, and afraid of what’s to come,
I hope that you won’t drop out, give up, or get numb.
Just find a drum to beat on. Pick up the guitar and strum.
It don’t matter what you look like. It don’t matter where you’re from.

When the bridges are all burned
And they’re warring over matches,
Let’s hold a new communion in the ashes

When the bridges are all burned.
Let’s congregate the masses.
Let’s hold a new communion in the ashes.
Track Name: Waiting For A Sign
I’ve been waiting for something
It’s been a pretty long time
I’ve been living in a prison of my own design
I wish I had some better answers
Wish these stars, they would align
I’ve been waiting for something, waiting for a sign

Waiting for a sign
I’m so tired of waiting
Waiting for a sign
I’m so tired of watching while my life is fading

I’ve been laying in the darkness
Trying to claw my way out
I’ve been hoping I can harness my will to kill the doubt
Are these blues a passing feeling?
Or are they something more malign?
I’ve been waiting for something, waiting for a sign

Waiting for a sign
I’m so tired of waiting
Waiting for a sign
I’m so tired of watching while my life is fading

I don’t know if I’ll survive another year
I don’t know if I’ll survive another year
But I know I want you

We’re tough enough to take it
But this ain’t no way to live
Some shit has gotta change, something’s gotta give
We grit our teeth by daylight
And we drown our nights in wine
We’ve been waiting for something, waiting for a sign

Waiting for a sign
I’m so tired of waiting
Waiting for a sign
I’m so tired of watching while my life is fading

I don’t know if I’ll survive another year
I don’t know if I’ll survive another year
But I know I want you
Track Name: Broken Light
I was trying to run and hide
Thought my soul could run on pride
I thought that I could make it through the night
With a broken light

They rob us with distraction and they spoil our art
False prophets preach their poison and pollute our hearts
I can wait upon your judgment and ignore your grace
But deep inside, I long to see your face

I was trying to run and hide
Thought my soul could run on pride
I thought that I could make it through the night
With a broken light

The moment that you’re born, you’re on the gambling floor
The only way to beat the house is to head for the door
I don’t give a damn what all your cards portend
I’m gonna live just like a bluebird on the wind

I’ve been racing in the streets
I’ve been fighting with my sheets
I thought that I could make it through the night
With a broken light

I had no wings to fly with, and I had no light to see
There was beauty all around me, but all I saw was me

I can hear the morning bell
I’ll flip the bird to last year’s hell
I think I’m finally doing something right

I was trying to run and hide
Thought my soul could run on pride
I thought that I could make it through the night
With a broken light
Track Name: Didn't Know What Love Meant
I was thirsty and you filled my cup
I had a dream but then I blew it up
I made you cry, but you know I’d never lie to you
I spent the winter living underground
I was alone, I barely made a sound
You tried to reach me, there was nothing anyone could do

I’ll never love another one like you
You loved me when I didn’t have a clue
You loved me when I couldn’t pay the rent
You loved me when I didn’t know what love meant

Do you remember the last Fourth of July?
I won’t forget it ‘til the day that I die
The kind of love that feels like static, well it’s magic to me
Nobody loves you when you’re down and out
And I know even you have had your doubts
But you still wrap me in your arms and show some faith in me

I’ll never love another one like you
You loved me when I didn’t have a clue
You loved me when I couldn’t pay the rent
You loved me when I didn’t know what love meant

At first, you were a mystery
Well, your eyes, they blew a kiss to me
And now there’s all these years of history between us two
I wanted love that felt like city lights
Or rock and roll and summer nights
I’m trying hard to get it right, I don’t know what to do

I’ll never love another one like you
You loved me when I didn’t have a clue
You loved me when I couldn’t pay the rent
You loved me when I didn’t know what love meant
Track Name: Get Back To The Wild
I still remember skipping stones upon the muddy banks of youth
That’s when the wildness flowed within me like an artery of truth
I used to guide my car down barren highways late into the night
In pursuit of some salvation or a brilliant flash of light
It’s been an Odyssey upon the sea of capital and fear
Where the market and the state conspire to grind you in the gears
But now the freedom’s buzzing ‘round me like the wisdom of a child
I never thought it’d take so many years to get back to the wild

Once I went to the revival to get closer to the Lord
But only found the serpent preacher spreading sickness with his words
At first, I listened to his story and it helped me to get by
But I was just listing all the things I want to do before I die
Well, every father’s generation plots how its sons will be killed
Yet always Isaac follows Abraham so calmly up the hill
But there was something stirring deep inside those years I was exiled
I never thought it’d take so many years to get back to the wild

I can’t tell you where this dirty path I’m walking on will lead
It’s all covered up in brambles, and it’s overgrown with weeds
Well, now the days are full of danger, anxiety and doubt
But I know we’re all born with flames inside the world wants to blow out
So I’ve been grinding down my jaw, and I’ve been tightening my chest
I’ve been revealing all my deepest fears and saying it’s in jest
But all this silent desperation's just the cost of being free
Behold the reckoning for violence too invisible to see

I see the ministers and the managers they prepared for this in school
I see another comet coming and they’re all loading up on fuel
I see the publicists and prophets stand there sneering in the void
I see the waiters and the drivers watch and wait to be destroyed
I see the beast inside its cage and hear it roaring at the sky
I see that there are ancient passions in our blood that never die
I see a hastening reparation for the nature we defiled
I never thought it’d take so many years to get back to the wild
Track Name: Blessed to Be Alive
I woke up one morning and the sun was gone
The air was filled with ash and there were dead birds on the lawn
No trace of you, baby, or a single friend
No sound from the radio or car engines on the wind
So I walked 3 miles to work and I sat down at my desk
Passed the day in silence, then I walked back home to rest
That’s what I do each morning once I’m dressed
It’s lonely sometimes, but I know I’m blessed
To be alive

I got up one evening and the moon was blood
The water started rising, and the house began to flood
So I grabbed a book of matches and my warmest coat
Paced around the cul-de-sac and saw my neighbor’s boat
Now I float around this town every day in total dark
Pass the time by counting all the treetops in the park
Just like Noah and his ark
Though I may never disembark
I’m alive

I woke up this morning and the stars had fell
It looked like Independence Day but felt just like hell
I had no one beside me for the fireworks
I pretended you were with me, but that only made it worse
Now the sky is falling, and it’s such a sight to see
I hope you’re out there somewhere thinking of me
Our short time was almost heavenly
It’s lonely but I know I’m blessed to be
Alive
Track Name: The Dream Is Dead
It's a bitter wind with nothing to hold onto
You keep one eye on the clock, but it never slows
There were days that weren't so empty
Now they're a distant, fading memory
Will they ever come back? No one really knows.
So here upon this staircase we go winding
Ever upwards, blindly through the night
I stand here holding mysteries
While the world's repeating history
And I just wish we'd one day remember it right

Now the world’s become a screen that screams of comfort from the fear
With a stream of lies so loud and overwhelming to our ears
It was built while we were dreaming, and we never would have chose it
Now the dream is dead, and everybody knows it

Now there’s panic as the edifice is crumbling
The illusion of security has dimmed
Some have turned to hate and numbness
But I’ll be marching down Columbus
Trying to build a new world with my friends

Now the world’s become an endless wall of cameras and guns
But there’s not a single mirror to reflect what we’ve become
If there’s wool that’s pulled over your eye, it’s my duty to expose it
The dream is dead, and everybody knows it

We may see no culmination in our lifetime
No triumphant climax, no tidy denouement
We must strip away these stories
Kill our heroes, trade the glories
For a peace made with one’s back against the wall
My eyes are wide, my heart it keeps on beating
The blood and air keep rushing through my lungs
You can try to crush my spirit
But there's still hope, and I can hear it
"When they kick at your front door, how you gonna come?"

Well I’m done with pointless poetry I’m gonna say what I really mean
We’ve got to learn to love each other before we turn into machines
Our redemption song can topple walls, but first we must compose it
The dream is dead, and everybody knows it
Track Name: Anything For Greed
You tell us that we're wasteful - we spend money we don't have
And then expect someone to save us when we're in the hole so bad
That we can't cover all the debts that we took on when we were young.
Well, what else would you expect when you don’t mind buying the guns

To fight a war we don't need? To watch your children bleed?
You’ll do anything for greed. You’ll do anything for greed.

You call us wasteful but you put a ransom on our lives
With a bootstrap fairytale that your hunger crucified.
Now we’ll keep working ‘til we die and never get a decent wage.
You’ve got some nerve to say my generation ought to act its age.

Sold us your dope and your speed. You’ll watch your children bleed.
You’ll do anything for greed. You’ll do anything for greed

You're not a model, not a mentor, you're not worthy of respect.
You're just a virus that keeps looking for a new host to infect.

Sold us your dope and your speed. You’ll watch your children bleed.
You’ll do anything for greed. You’ll do anything for greed
You’ll do anything for greed. You’ll do anything for greed.
You’ll do anything for greed. You’ll do anything for greed.
Track Name: I Will Do No More A-Prayin'
I will do no more a-prayin’
I will dig the dirt myself
Cause if the sky don’t stop a-rainin’
We may not have much time left
We’ll keep planning for the day when
We can spread out all the wealth
By and by, by and by, by and by

I will do no more a-hoping
I will get out on the street
I’ve grown weary of this coping
And I feel so incomplete
When the floodgates start to open
I want to have a front-row seat
By and by, by and by, by and by

I don’t need no silver bullet, I don’t need no magic wand
We’ve got to forge the future with our bonds
There’s a better world a-coming, somewhere up beyond
By and by, by and by, by and by

I don’t need no silver bullet, I don’t need no magic wand
We’ve got to forge the future with our bonds
There’s a better world a-coming, somewhere up beyond
By and by, by and by, by and by

I will do no more a-prayin’
I will dig the dirt myself
Cause if the sky don’t stop a-rainin’
We may not have much time left
We’ll keep planning for the day when
We can spread out all the wealth
By and by, by and by, by and by
Track Name: This Fear Won't Control Me
I started out in pain
My skin washed by the rain
Lost my faith, traded God for work
Now the work, it never ends
And I’ve been losing all my friends
And the pain I started with still somewhere lurks

Now I’ve got to get myself back
To where I went astray
There’s no point in regretting
But I do it anyway

This fear won’t control me
This fear won’t control me
This fear won’t control me, control me today

Goddamn that broken spell
That’s been making our lives hell
And poisoning the well of imagination
They want to rank our lives
Make us sharpen all our knives
We’ve gotta root out all the lies that built the nation

Now we’ve got to get ourselves back
To where we went astray
If you’re ever frightened
All you’ve got to say is

This fear won’t control me
This fear won’t control me
This fear won’t control me, control me today
Track Name: Nowhere Left To Run
My words are on the wire, but no one’s on the other end of the connection
Everybody says we’ve come so far but no one questions the direction
It’s so hard not to look away
To more than just get through the day
It’s hard to find the time for reflection

We’ve been searching for the truth, looking in the cracks of the stories that we’re told
Casting our eyes downward, sifting through the dirt to find the gold
I fear the consequences will
Catch up to us before we kill
The curse that’s kept us spiritless and cold

We built a world in our own images
We destroy the things we need to hide our blemishes
We keep our faces hidden from the sun
But there’s nowhere left to run

You can feel the tension rising just like the vibrations of a bell
That’s tolled eleven times. We hold our breath and wait upon the twelve
Don’t trust that their machinery
Can alter fate so easily
You can start again. That’s the tale they try to sell

We built a world in our own images
We destroy the things we need to hide our blemishes
We’ve got to do this for our daughters and our sons
Because there’s nowhere left to run

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